The Embassador's Son

What do you get when you cross a Kuwaiti Embassador's son with a bottle of cheap polish vodka and 10,000 parading jews? A whole lot of fun!

On Monday, police said a heavily intoxicated 23-year-old son of Ambassador Khaled Al-Shaibani pulled three 16-year-old Brazilians into their sixth-floor room of Warsaw's Holiday Inn after 9 a.m.
Witnesses alerted hotel guards, who rushed to the site, but called police when the Kuwaiti said he had explosives, police said.
Agents stormed the room just before 10 a.m. and took the suspect into custody without incident. None of the captives was harmed and no explosives were found.
Al-Shaibani was too intoxicated to undergo questioning Monday, police said, but the suspect spoke with authorities Tuesday morning.
The three teenagers were among about 10,000 people from around the world, most of them Jewish, who came to Poland to take part in the March of the Living.

The Kuwaiti Embassy confirmed the suspect was the ambassador's son, but declined further comment.

http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/05/06/1473052-kuwaiti-envoys-son-charged-in-poland

Don't be too hard on the lad Mr. Embassador. You emerced him into a country full of alcoholic anti-semites and he probably had a head start in Kuwait. Plus, 10,000 Jews all at once is a bit much for even the most tolerant and sober of us.

God help us all.

What the hell is wrong with this world?

I watched Nancy Grace last night. Yes I know she comes off as a mean bitch but that's mostly because her eyebrows are sculpted to point down towards the center. If she had some kind of procedure to raise them she'd look alot less threatening. But then she may be out of a job.

But I digress.

Back to the subject at hand. She was doing a piece on 911 operators falling asleep WHILE recieving emergency calls. This lady call 911 to say someone is breaking in her house and the operator starts snoring during the call! My god, how incompetant can you get??

The woman could easily have died while this bozo was snoozing off. What punishment did the guy get? He got dismissed. He should be imprisoned for wreckless endangerment.

Apparently this happens more often then we'd like to think. During the show she brought several similar cases to our attention.

The sad truth is that civil servants get paid very little and ministries are forced to scrape the bottom of the labour poolbarrel.

Here is a link to the video.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2072561504514618139&q=operator+snoring&ei=eVQfSKTJL6GQrgP0odm4AQ&hl=en

I wish this was the most disturbing news I was bringing you but it's not. Apparantly even the majestic King penguin is not imune from sexual assault. Here is proof that God screws up in his creations. It's not just man who is tormented by bizarre abnormalties of the brain. Can you believe a poor little penguin got raped by a big blubbery seal? It's too disgusting to think of but impossible not to look at. Even in a tuxedo the poor bird has been robbed of his dignity.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7379554.stm

I like head!

“You like head?”
There she was standing in before me. My Amma, all 5 feet of my sweet Bangladeshi mother-in-law. She’s been in the states now for 18 years and is coming along with learning English swimmingly, but there are certain slang words she will never and should never understand. On the other hand, her sniggering 22 year old son Jissan sitting at the dinner table across from me had become All-American. “Yes Bob” he says with a grin from ear to ear, “My mother wants to know if you like head.”
OK I was ready to play along.
Me: “Ummmm….well….Amma….that’s a bit of a personal question isn’t it?”
Amma: What? Head is good. I like head. You want head?
Me: No thanks Amma, I don’t want it.
Amma: Why not? You will like it. Your father-in-law likes. Jissan likes don’t you?
Jissan: Sure do Mom. I love head! (between giggles)
Amma: You have to suck it.
Then she puts her hand up to her mouth and makes a sucking sound. At which point Jissan: spits his drink out and birst out laughing.
The poor lady was talking about eating the heads of giant shrimp, which I later tried and found out I actually do like head.

The Best High School Reunion I Never Went To!

Last week 50 people from my old school got together at a bar/hotel for a little reunion. It was all my old friends and enemies from grade 8. I would definately have made the trip up to Canada for it but the thing was arranged just recently and I had already booked my vacation to Florida with the family.

Still, it was a great reunion for me.

Firstly, I was a cute but short little runt back then of average to below average popularity. There was this one average looking girl Janice who had a crush on me and we kinda became boyfriend and girlfriend. I say kinda because we never really did anything other than state that we were an item. I hadn't even reached puberty yet.

Anyway everyone shows up at the reunion and most the guys are fat and bald and the girls are fat and sagging, but not Janice. She's like POW! Smokin hot! and all the guys are trying to chat her up, but she keeps asking for me. In fact she has a few drinks and continues to ask for me all night long like I'm gonna magically appear. Did I mention she's divorced? Good thing I wasn't there. So by not showing up I now have the guilt free satisfaction of knowing that all my fellow classmates know that the prettiest girl in class digs me. But that is not the best part.

The best part is what happened to big Bully Ken. Big Bully Ken was a real prick when I knew him and was twice my size and used to beat the crap out of people for fun including me.

What happened to him?

No he didn't die, I'm not that vindictive and it's even better.

get this. He had a sex change!



This guy was a friggin Gorilla. There is no way he could become a convincing woman. Perhaps this may explain his inner hostility. I still can't get over the shock. The embarrassing part is that I now have to admit I was beaten up by a girl.

Life is stranger than fiction

Find Osama Bin Laden!

Here is a pic of the Bin Laden family on holiday in Sweden. Don't they look happy and westernized? See if you can guess which guy is Osama. I numbered them for you. Post your guesses.

click on the image to enlarge it.

After you guess you can see the answer here:

No cheating!

this is him

I am a diplomat

I never really mentioned this before but I am an international diplomat. Well at least I felt like one. My Uncle-in-law in Bangladesh is a Bigwig and he got me a seat at the 2004 International chamber of commerce event in Dhaka where I got to sit and listen to foreign dignitaries and Prime Minister of Bangladesh, Khaleda Zia. It was mostly interesting. The neet thing about it was that all the white people except me were sitting in the front section and the TV press was behind them and couldn't get any decent shots of foreign faces. Just the backs of their heads. I has sitting in the middle section and all the press could get a good shot at me and they all did. So I tried my best to look distinguished as the video cameras took their turns on me. When we got back to my Aunts house everyone was excited that I was on National TV. I did the only thing I could think of to prove I was there.

It was a long day. The poor Prime Minister was nodding off during Thaksin Shinawatra's (Thailand PM) speech.

Too bad both prime ministers are now facing corruption charges.

Maybe I should give them a ring to cheer them up.

Is it me?

Or does Cindy McCain look like the mother from The Replacements?

Damn Disney Corp!

This is an update to my Halloween post. I lost the battle of the princesses. The kids had a lot of fun playing at home with my homemade costume, but refused to be seen outside in it. My wife backed them up (She comes from an impoverished country and has internal issues about appearing too "ghetto" and she wants the girls to have everything she didn't) So I conceded to take them out as Disney princesses just like all the other thousands of princesses there were out there.



Maybe I lost this battle but the Disney war continues.
At least half of the shows on disney channel are not appropriate for children. I have a particular problem with the Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

The two stars of the shows are these obnoxious 11 year old twins who are fixated with being babe hounds. What's wrong with the writers? They can't come up with different plots for kids? Does every male character have to be a player? It makes me wanna puke when I see a little boy say "Check out that foxy mama, hubba hubba!" Those little twirps are bannished from my sight!

Vote for Obama!

There are plenty of reasons to vote for Obama

1. Did you see him get out of that crazy babbling minister controversey? I thought he was toast a few days ago, but the guy flips the whole thing around to make it seem that the country can only get past racial divisions by voting for him. And you know? He's kinda right. But more importantly we need a guy who can get himself out of of a sticky situation, because the country is in one itself.


2. The guys middle name is Hussein. We can get him a name tag that has an insert section in the middle like a dining room table. When he's at home he's Barack Obama, when he goes to the middle east he's Barack Hussein Obama.


3. Sure he's got hardly any experience, but he's smart and he looks good and sounds great.


4. He says he's going to pull the troops out but is going to consult the generals first, who will tell him not to pull the troops out. So he will pull them out, he'll just take 4 years to do it.


5. He never cheated on his wife (and she ain't much to look at). I mean look at the New York governor who got kicked out for the prostitutes. He gets replaced by a blind guy who cheated on his wife numerous times. Even the blind politians are cheating. How does a blind guy cheat?
6. National Health Care. Let's give it a try. Everyone else does it. It can't be all that bad. I lived in Canada and it wasn't that bad. Sure when I had an operation when I was a kid I had to stay in a ward with 5 other sick kids. The worst part was that 5 of us couldn't move and the one kid who could move was this pudgy spoiled kid who was in there for constipation and he wouldn't let anyone else have the rmote control and he made us watch game shows. In the end I think he speeded up my recovery because he motivated me to walk so I could smack him in the head.

Afghan Boy Toys

I just read a revolting article on Reuters on how Afghan warlords are honoring the age old tradition of keeping young dancing boys as their mistresses.

http://www.reuters.com/article/wtMostRead/idUSISL1848920071119

I just had to voice how appalling and non-Islamic this is. This flies directly in the face of clearly written Islamic law. Don’t these people know dancing is forbidden in Islam!?

A bad investment

I gotta tell you. The next time some guy tries to sell me on a joint business venture in Islamic Africa, I'm gonna do a little cultural research first!

"Build a prophet Workshop! The first in Kartoum!" he said. "Everyone will love it!"

Thanks for nothing Alif!!!!

Saving Fruit loops from themselves.

Most civilized civilizations have adopted a social responsibility to protect crazy people from themselves. These same civilizations also mostly have some sort of respect for freedom of religion. But what happens when these two priorities come into conflict?
What if some crazy person adopts an equally crazy religious belief that leads them to an early preventable death?

Case in point:
England
A 22 year old Jehovah Witness woman gave birth to twins and then started bleeding to death in the hospital. She refuses a blood transfusion based on her religious beliefs and now she is dead. The kids now have to be raised motherless. I’m not going to bother digging up the research, but it is pretty obvious that kids raised without mothers usually do worse off. It will be England who has to deal with the repercussions of this religious nut’s irresponsible actions and abandonment of her parental responsibilities. If she were in my hospital, she would have been forced to have the transfusion and I would have thrown in a free sterilization with it.
Screw her freedom of religion. We don’t let Rastafarians smoke pot because it is illegal. Well so is suicide.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article2809423.ece

Second case in point:
India
Some how, this 18 year old Indian girl got it into her head that she was a snake goddess. Maybe she had axema? That makes your skin scaly. Anyway, as a parent I like to cultivate the sense in my girls that they can become anything they want to be. But I draw the line at snake goddess. Obviously this girl had some kind of mental problem. (Unless she really is a snake goddess?) Unfortunately her family and community were a bunch of enablers and they went along with the whole snake goddess idea. OK fine, nothing illegal there. That is their religion; let them have fun with it. But when this flake decides she wants to be buried alive, do you think anyone slapped any sense into her? Of course not! They all went along with it. Hundreds of people including reporters (Don’t you have to go to college to be a reporter?) witnessed her live burial. Thankfully some non-disbeliever policemen showed up a couple hours later and dug her out. She was alive and hysterical. Now my first instinct is to say, that the cops should not have interfered in the process of natural selection, but this woman was crazy and everyone just stood around and watched or helped her commit suicide! I’d take the whole crowd and throw them in a labour camp for 5 years and of course sterilize them all.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22707141-663,00.html

Islamo-Fascism Awareness week! revisited.

Now that Islamo-Fascism Awareness week is behind us, I’d like to take time to reflect on this precedence setting moment of enlightenment. Even though we are now in the 6th year of military confrontation with the forces of militant Islam (and others), perhaps some things needed to be clarified. Perhaps the general public missed the media coverage on Al Qaeda, Hezbollah, the Taliban and Hamas over the past decade. Maybe they were unaware that there are really bad guys who are out to get us. Is it too much to ask that we take one week out of the year to think about the threats we face all year round?

Some may ask, What is the purpose of making such a highly publicized event when it only focuses on something we are already aware of? Why not just sponsor a hurricane awareness week in New Orleans?

Mr. Horowitz states: “Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week is an effort to educate the general public about the enemy we face and, in the process, to give moderate Muslims support in their struggle.”

Can anyone claim their Awareness of the enemy is complete without having sat through an Anne Coulter lecture? Surely she has saved her most thought provoking opinions for these speakings; the stuff you can’t get on FOX news everyday of the year. Or perhaps people would miss out on exposure to the numerous in-depth writings that the architects of this event have to offer, like:

The End of Time by David Horowitz $12.00

Unholy Alliance by David Horowitz $18.00

Left Illusions by David Horowitz $21.00

The Politics of Bad Faith by David Horowitz $14.00

Uncivil Wars by David Horowitz $12.00
etc.....etc...

Sadly, the vast majority of those moderate Muslims found the term “Islamo-fascist” to be offensive.

Thankfully, Mr. Horowitz was able to clarify their misunderstandings. You see, the term “Islamo-Fascism” was initially coined by Algerians. Algerians are Muslims. Can Muslims be offended by terms originated by other Muslims? Of course not! Therefore the moderate Muslims of the world are mistaken to think that the words are offensive. Just because words offend does not mean they are offensive.

Furthermore Mr. Horowitz states: “No one who wants to see moderate Muslims succeed in their efforts to resist the oppressive doctrines of the Islamo-fascists should oppose the use of this term”

You hear that? You are either with us or against us! If you don’t like the term Islamo-Fascist, then maybe that’s because you are one!

Mr. Horowitz and friends are simply exercising there freedom of speech. Islamo-Fascism refers to Muslims who are fascists. All other Muslims are exempt from offence.

Of course others may differ as to what threats we face deserve a week of awareness. For example some may prefer a more introspective approach and focus on the threats to peace that emerge from within. For those people perhaps we can have a week like this?

Obviously Christians who are not warmongering idiots will not take offence to these words. If for some reason they do, then we can only then assume that they are indeed warmongering idiots themselves and thus consider the offense well placed.

Still others may want to focus on more specific subtle threats. Like the threat of people who profit on creating hysteria and fostering stereotypes that promotes intolerance. For those people we can have this week.

Rest assured no non-hate-spreading media whores of the Jewish faith should be offended. Thank you

BOB

I reject corporate greed (Particularly Disney Corporation) and their exploitation of our most cherished traditional celebrations!

It’s bad enough that my kids are brainwashed by the Disney channel everyday and are hypnotized by the likes of Hanna Montana, Highschool Musical, Corey in the House, etc…etc…

It’s bad enough that I spend thousands of dollars on Disney vacations. Disney Movies, Disney lunch boxes, Disney clothes, Disney snacks, Disney friggin everything!

Well, today I am drawing the line!

This Halloween my little 3 year old princess is NOT going to parade around town in a 30 dollar Disney princess outfit! Disney has bled this stone dry!

This year we are going to have a Halloween reminiscent of the Halloweens that I had growing up. The kind where your parent is too cheap to buy you a costume and you have to make something up from household items.

In the spirit of non-commercialism, I have decided to teach my children a valuable lesson. Halloween is an opportunity to celebrate our creative side. There is a great deal of satisfaction in creating a costume from scratch. It is self expression over corporate expression. It also is an opportunity to recycle discarded household items that would otherwise pollute the environment.

This year my daughter is going out as a homemade Spongebob!

A public service announcement for an Iranian single

I just stumbled across this cheezy add for an Iranian personel service.

I just gotta say this to Rosa:

Rosa, if you can't find one decent picture of yourself without some guy's arm wrapped around your waste then that tells me volumes about you.

You are either:

A) Have never been without a boyfreind longer than it takes to figure out how a digital camera works, in which case you are a needy clinging insecure psychopath.

B) You are either too stupid or lazy to get someone to take a more appropriate picture for

or C) .You are slut.

If the answer is A or B, I want nothing to do with you!

Old Shahadeh Abu, He lived in a shoe....

Check this guy out! Shadadeh Abu Arrar is a Bedouin living in Israel. He's got 8 wives and 67 kids. Apparently these 75 people are still not enough to occupy his time. He is planning on getting a 9th wife! How does he support them? Israeli welfare. Of course that money is only for the 53 kids of his Israeli wives. The 14 kids in the west bank born to Palestinian wives have to find other ways to survive.

Can you imagine actually looking after all those kids? I hope they have costo in Israel, They could go through one of those giant tubs of margarine in one sitting.

http://www.comcast.net/news/strange/index.jsp?cat=STRANGE&fn=/2007/10/16/790018.html

My daughter is white.

For those who don't know, I am married to a American woman from Bangladesh. Today my wife had to fill out some registration papers for our three year old daughter. When it came to the part where we declare her race we were left with the options, White, Black, Hispanic/Latino, Asian or native American. No place to write other. They tell her it will stay on her record throughout her school years. So the wife calls me up. "Is she white or Asian?"

me: she's asian

her: But she was born here and she looks white.

me: OK, she's white.

her: No she's not

me: Listen, I don't really care. You decide.

her: How do I do that?

me: flip a coin. If it's heads she's white. If it's tails she's asian.

3 heads later...she's white.

I just hope this doesn't have an adverse affect on her math scores.

Ramadan Mubarak

Well it's time for another Ramadan which means I have to drag myself away from the computer tonight and socialize with all the wife's relatives. They'll be all kinds of great food and the kids really like getting dressed up in their Bangladeshi clothes.

I'd rather stay at home and watch TV.

I'm done

I thought about this a lot but now I've finally gone and done it. I'm sure some of you will be quite releaved the BOB will no longer be reproducing.
I went and got my vasectomy done. They say Bravery Is Not The Absence of Fear, But Acting Inspite of It.

I gotta tell you that I was more than a little nervous about getting snipped. Now that it is all over I can say that the operation was not so bad.

The recovery however is a whole different story. For the first week I felt like my nuts were in a clamp. All I could do was lay on the couch and ice myself.

All I can say is this better be worth it.

Freedom!

Thank you all for your support over the past few days. Me and my brothers have been granted the right to return to our people. I will speak later on this. Now is not the time to dwell on past offences now is the time to be thankful for our endurance and look towards a better future.

Again thank you.

Wait a second. I just tried to make a post and it has been thrown onto the moderation qeue again. They put up my posts from 4 days ago but haven't given me back my entire posting freedom.

Now I'm like Lindsay Lohan walking around with a moderating ankle bracelet!

Please sign this petition

http://www.petitiononline.com/12345bob/petition.html

BOB

I have sinned !

After some deep reflection I have come to the conclusion that the mods had reason to banish me.

I was brainwashing Muslims to think murder was good.

Sure some of you may say "Bob, Ahmed is a 27 year old Pakistani who lived in Islamabad. He made up his own mind about the events at the Red Mosque."But is that really the case? As reported by posters on IOL, 1500 Innocent women were murdered in cold blood in that mosque! Muslims are supposed to be against murder. Ahmed may have realized that, except I had to start posting evil things like "they shouldn't have had weapons in the mosque in the first place" and "Law and order must prevail". What chance did Ahmed's mind have other than to fall into my trap? To make things worse I even praised him when he followed my evil lure.

Is there any greater sin than leading a believer down the path to hell?

Also I fear that the poster NYIslamic who refutes that 911 was an inside job is very likely another victim of my brainwashing techniques. How else can you explain a Muslim denying the clear evidence that America attacked itself that day. I mean it's called What really happened .com not What didn't really happen so it must be. I am sorry if I led you astray NY.

Fortunately a very shrewd Muslimah poster caught on to my sinister plot and alerted the moderators.

I brazenly admitted to her that I was a Zionist who was brainwashing Muslims to be my zombie army and that I would one day take over the world. I even invited her to "come over to the dark side".

Well the moderators saw the seriousness of this threat and decided to protect the Ummah from evil-doers such as myself.

They even banished GPA I think because he spoke out too much against terrorism and Islamic extremism. I guess this proved that he hates all Muslims.

I am glad to see that GPA has joined me in repenting for our evil ways. I now see that murder and robbery are indeed wrong.

thank you

BOB

Banned from IOL

Yes they finally couldn't take it any more and the dirty rats banned me!

All because some paranoid schizophrenic Muslimah whined that I was brainwashing people!

Maybe I was brainwashing people, but that's because those brains were filthy and full of cobwebs.

They needed a good rinsing.

Anyway I've reconsidered my goals and have changed them from global domination to simply getting my deck refurbished this summer.

If anyone needs to contact me, I'll be checking my blog.

Thanks

BOB

Cartoon from Iranian.com
Some good stuff on there. Some Iranians are very cool.

My rendition of Sahara2's ex, who looks a bit like dead Chechen mujahed, Shamil Basayev.

Bob's Peace Plan

In this Plan nobody in the region gets away scott free. Everyone has to contribute something and be vested in a positive outcome.

How can you have a functioning country that is physically divided into two parts? (Hawaii doesn't count)

My plan involves Syria, Egypt, Jordon and Lebanon all giving up small portions of land. Heck, they already have the Palestinians to go with it.

Both new countries need access to Jerusalem and the Mediterranean. The only way to do this is to have one in the north and one in the south.

This involves the entire Gaza strip falling into Israel and large parts of northern Israel falling into Palestinian hands. This is why it is important that no person should be forced to move. Give 1.5 million Gazans the opportunity to become Israelis and a lot will take it. The Israelis will treat them better because they can now vote. Give the Palestinians authority over northern Israel and some Jews might stay. The Palestinians could certainly use the tax dollars. The point is that anyone can move if they want and anyone can stay.

Israel of course would have to stop it's open to all Jews immigration policy. That is unsustainable. The settlers in the west bank can stay but if they do they must live under Palestinian rule.

Why my Avatar is not Noddy

I put a lot of thought into choosing my avatar and want to make it quite clear to everyone that the image is NOT that of Noddy. Noddy is a gay elf. I am not a gay elf. My Avatar is a construction worker. A man who builds things, like the brave men and women trying to reconstruct Iraq. In a world filled with too many people intent on destroying, I think we can use a few more bob the builders in real life.

Bob and a portion of the extended family

Is this the same guy?

Is this Hamas leader and former Palestinian Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh ?

Because if it is, I have a new found respect for the guy.

Good to know that if politics and terrorism doesn't work out, he has a sideshow career to fall back on.

Edmonton Oiler fans in Kandahar

Guess which one is me?

Happy Chanukkah

Happy Chanukah card I made for News4U