The Atheist Blogroll

Infidel Bob has been added to The Atheist Blogroll. You can see the blogroll in my sidebar. The Atheist blogroll is a community building service provided free of charge to Atheist bloggers from around the world. If you would like to join, visit Mojoey at Deep Thoughts for more information.
Technically I'm agnostic, but these guys make sense.

The futility of Islamic Scholarship

This is one of the countless examples why it is a waste of time taking the advice of an "Islamic Scholar" seriously.

October 3rd 2008

Saudi cleric favours one-eye veil http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7651231.stm

October 5th 2009

Egypt cleric 'to ban full veils' http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8290606.stm

When are they going to admit that no one, even the "scholars" have a firm grip on what Islam is all about?Islam can be anything you want it to be. You want it to be a religion of peace? Fine, it is. You want it to be a religion of war? OK, it's all in the interpretation.

The Profits of Prophecy

"Why do black people have white skin on their palms and soles of their feet?" Asked one of the students in my grade 3 class. " Well there is an interesting folk tale about that." My teacher replied. "At one point everyone was black, but then a magical lake was discovered. People who bathed in this lake would turn white. Everyone wanted to try this out, but eventually the lake was drained and there was only enough water for the last people to wet their palms and soles." OK, he'd probably get fired today for telling such a story, but it was mildly entertaining and gave a semi-logical reason for a question he couldn't answer. Thousands of years ago people lacked TV, movies and books. They sat around the campfires dreaming up and telling stories like this. They were passed down from generation to generation. Stories of Arcs and talking snakes and people turning to stone. Inevitably the storytellers left out the part that these stories were made up and they became the foundations of religions. One such religion was Judaism. It told of the great prophet Moses, who spoke to God, gave us a bunch of commandments that basically reaffirmed what people already thought was right and wrong and he parted the red sea. Moses sounded like such a neat guy that people wished they could be just like him. In fact many people in the middle east (and the rest of the world) decided to profess that they were in fact prophets as well. The place was full of self-proclaimed prophets. Just like today you have all kinds of wackos and charletens saying they can heal the sick and perform miracles. There are enough gullible people around that miracleworker is still a viable way to make a living. Look at this girl from India who claims to be a miraculous bleeder. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32797753/

People actually think she is a deity. Doctors have examined her and have determined that the blood that inexplicably appears on her face and body is in fact hers and she bears no wounds. However, no one has ever witnessed the blood actually coming out of her. National Geographic did a show on her, but it ended with the doctor offering to set up a round the clock observation of her. Of course it ended there! They can't actually do that. If they did that it would reveal that the sick little con-artist is dipping her fingers into her menstrual flow and smearing it on her face. National Geographic would be out of a show and she's be out of a career. My point is that there have always been motivating factors for people to claim they are more than what they are.One such scam artist was a guy called Jesus. He went around convincing sick people he could cure them just like many evangelicals do today. The stories of him got exagerated through the years and we end up with him walking on water. The Jews thought he was full of crap and the Romans tried to put an end to his "I'm God" racket by nailing him to a cross. That should have proven to the believers that he wasn't a god, but dilluded people are not easily convinced of their mistakes (see 911 conspiracy nuts) . It is much more palatable for them to mold everything that contradicts their beliefs into evidence that they were right all along. So Jesus although he could have prevented his death (which wasn't really a death because he was God) decided to die for our sins (whatever the hell that means). It's not like Christians say if we die without repenting our sins that we go to heaven anyway. The rules to get into heaven are pretty much the same for Jesus's followers as they were before he died. So after he is dead he becomes even more popular. One of the non-believers (may have been a Jew) decides to oppose the Jesus BS with his own BS and claims God talks to him and says Jesus was never God or was crucified. This guy claims himself to be a prophet and gives birth to his own religion, which helps him convince followers to conquer all of Arabia for him. Prophecy was a good business back then. Still is.

My brush with Dixie

I have always had a fascination for lost causes including a healthy interest in Nazi Germany, the Taliban and the Southern confederates of the US civil war. I’ve absorbed all the top books and movies on the confederacy including Robert E. Lee’s biography.
So when I had a chance this weekend to visit Richmond Virginia (Capitol of the short-lived Southern confederacy) I was hopeful to take in some history. My wife’s cousin Ammad is a bright kid and came over from Bangladesh to study at Richmond University on a full scholarship. Ammads’s Parents are visiting from Bangladesh so I took them along with the wife and kids to visit him. Unfortunately no one but me in the group had any interest in civil war history and we spent most of the time in Richmond going to shopping malls. On our last night I was determined to get at least a miniscule glimpse of the history this legendary city has to offer. I took them all to Monument Avenue and I enjoyed all of the fifteen minutes we were there. Along the Avenue are mostly monuments of confederate Generals. I think it’s a great sign of tolerance on the part of the now Union government to allow the Southern states to erect monuments to the arguably traitorous generals of the southern rebellion. My two favorite Southern Generals (Stonewall Jackson and Lee) are immortalized there. Of course all these monuments of a rebellion started by a Southern institution marked with racism might seem offensive to some. So the ingenious monument overseers introduced an equalizer. Amongst the Southern Generals on the street is a large monument dedicated to Arthur Ashe, the famed African American tennis player from Richmond who won 3 grand slam titles. His statue boldly raises his racket as if to say “In your face sons of the confederacy! You lost and here I stand a symbol of a better future!”.

We finished the 15 minutes in front of Robert E. Lee’s monument. We looked up to see the noble hero majestically sitting on his legendary steed Traveller, looking over historic Richmond. After briefing Uncle about what the war was about and who Lee was, we had an odd conversation.

Me: General Lee was arguably one of the most skilled generals throughout history.
Uncle: Is he a hero?
Me: Yes, he was a hero, not only because of his military victories but because he did a lot after the war to help with the reconciliation.
Uncle: So he won the war?
Me: No, he lost.
Uncle: Is he Japanese?
Me: No, he was from Virginian.
Uncle: Lee is a Chinese name. Was he Chinese?
Me: No he wasn’t Japanese or Chinese. He is not a "Bruce Lee" kinda Lee. It would have been a much different war if he was. He was a Virginian.

Long pause...

Uncle: I think he was Korean.
Me: OK yes, he was Korean.
Then we went to Denny’s for Ice Cream.

Daisy's pushin up daisies

Poor Jessica Simpson was out walking her little dog Daisy (I assume named after her role as Daisy in the Dukes of Hazard movie) when a Coyote came and snatched the poor pup away and took off. Now I am a dog lover and truly sympathize with her. but I can't help but smirk a little when she offers a reward for the dog's return. I mean, even if the coyote could read, what kind of reward could she offer to entice the coyote to return Daisy?
A crate of ACME products?
I would also like to know if she will give a partial reward for a partial return of her dog, because I think I may have found something in my yard.
see photo:

Help! Shopping Cart Police!

As much as I hate the idea of living in a police state, I have come to the sad conclusion that people should be required to have a special license to drive a shopping cart! How many times do I have to get stuck in Costco behind some A-hole who manages to block off the entire row with his/her fat ass and shopping cart? If you need something on the left then pull your cart to the left and get what you want. Don’t leave your cart on the right and stand on the left for ten minutes to ponder which flavor barrel of ice cream to pick. Get the hell out of my way! There is heavy traffic in this store. That means you do not drive or stop in the middle of an aisle, especially if there is a line of other drivers piling up behind your incompetent ass. Pushing a shopping cart without obstructing everyone else’s path is not a challenging activity. Homeless people can do it in the middle of downtown New York City and most of them are high, drunk or insane. If you can’t manage to do this simple task then you should have your shopping cart confiscated or at minimum suffer some sort of fine. The ideal punishment for most would be a Rodney King style beat down in front of all the other shoppers to serve as good warning. That wouldn’t fly over here with all these libertarian types so I have another suggestion. Each cart could be given a bar code. The store could offer some kind of discount to everyone, say 5% off. The catch would be that the store would have undercover monitors with digital cameras throughout the store. If they catch someone driving poorly like blocking traffic, then they could snap a picture of the violator and record the number of the cart. Not until after the person was through the register would the moron be informed that they were penalized the 5% savings for bad driving. They could have a digital picture of the violation printed out on their receipt just like the toll collectors do on the highways. I would shop at this store all the time.

Ramadan and the forbidden fruit.

I have been blessed with a mother-in-law who is an endless source of entertainment for me. As a Muslim she has been fasting throughout the month of Ramadan, staying away from food and drink during the daylight hours. It really is an admirable gesture of dedication on her part. She is dutifully committed to practicing the time-honored rituals of her faith. However, the following events have led me to question whether the basic principles of her religion have been lost on her.
It is fall here in New England and we just got back from our annual apple picking excursion. Funny thing is, it actually costs more to pick your own apples than to buy them from the store, but the kids love it.
This year the in-laws had family visiting from Bangladesh so we decided to include them in the outing. So my mother-in-law who I call Amma (Bengali for mother) Mama (Bengali for Uncle) and Mami (Bengali for Aunt) came along. The deal at the apple orchard is, you buy a bag from them and you get to fill it up with apples. They sell small bags that can hold 6 lbs of apples for $5 and bigger bags that hold 10 lbs of apples for $10. I guess math isn’t a big thing amongst Apple farmers. We bought a bunch of small bags and set off into the orchards. Mama has his camera with him and makes us pose in front of every damn tree for a picture. He’s gotta be the worst photographer I’ve ever met, although he claims to have won some amateur photography contest. I’ll make another post highlighting some of his spectacularly horrible photos later. Back to the apples. One of the unwritten rules of Apple picking is that you can eat as many apples as you like while picking. Unfortunately the 3 practicing Muslims among us couldn’t take advantage of this because they were fasting. I felt sorry for them but had my fill nonetheless. I was holding my 4 year old on my shoulders to pick some of the juiciest apples that were high up. When I looked through the branches on the other side of the tree I could see Amma stuffing apples into her purse and covering them up with a scarf. She was stealing! On Ramadam! The holiest month of the year! It is said that a prayer during Ramadan is worth a thousand during the rest of the year, so what does that mean for thievery? Is that like a thousand times worse? It should be. She didn’t notice I caught her in the act. I suppose I could have told my wife who would have admonished her and prevented the crime from being committed, but I thought the whole hypocrisy of it all was too wonderful so I let her to get away with it. The woman starves herself for a month to please Allah and then blows the whole thing by stealing fruit. She might as well have sat down and had a ham sandwich. This whole thing has made me wonder that maybe there really is a god. A god who likes to tickle my funny bone.

I'm Halal!

I just visited the brand new Islamic search engine that filters Haram (Islamicly forbidden) sites. I Imhalaled my blog (doesn't have the same catchiness as "googled").

Guess what? I'm Halal

Take that and shove it up your Asses, moderators at IslamOnline!

Here is the I'mHalal search site.

http://www.imhalal.com/

Public Service Announcement for Nazis

Brian is an 11 year old boy from Zimbabwe. He recently fled Zimbabwe along with his 10 year old friend to South Africa and is living in a refugee camp.

He seems to have the right spirit to survive his ordeal however. The spunky kid carved a tattoo on his arm with a broken matchstick of a Swastika. Now little Brian and his friends have a bit of a twisted interpretation of what a swastika means. To them it means “Germans never surrender” so having one on his arm is kind of a mark of honor and a sign of strength. Good for you Brian. Never surrender!

http://edition.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/africa/12/18/zimbabwe.children/

OK that is fine, the symbol can mean numerous things. It is also a religious symbol in Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism.I don’t have a problem with the symbol in his context. But as a graphic artist and a history buff I find what has Brian has done to be appalling!!

The poor kid spent two days scratching this thing on his arm and he messed it up! If you are going to permanently scar your body for the rest of your life, please take a little time and do some research before you begin. It is too late for me to help Brian but maybe there is someone else who could benefit from my graphic advice.

Maybe these idiots in New Jersey? http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/weird/Nein-Cake-for-You-Little-Adolph.html

When making a Swastika, one simply needs to remember SS (Which is an abbreviation on Schutzstaffel which means Protective Squadron in German, but don’t think of that just remember SS)

Now to make a proper Swastika, simply think of the Nazi symbol SS. Rotate the first S clockwise 90 degrees and place it on top of the other S. Wallah! You have graphically correct symbol of hate!
Here is a diagram to help you visualize it.

Whether you are painting model airplanes, spray painting your neighbour’s house or carving it onto your forehead, there are no more excuses for inaccuracy. Doing it in the first place proves you are a stupid asshole. No sense in being an ignorant stupid asshole.

Ahoy thar Mateys!

Cap’n Bob has spotted those scallywag Somali pirates off the horn of Africa!

Their landlubbin lair is in the town of Eyl. It’s time to send those Scurvy dogs to Davy Jone’s locker!

Sadly the Lily-livered UN are hiding from a real scuffle and they want us to just sit off the coast and wait for the rascals to come to us.

Well that’s not the way to fight pirates.

Look at what the Saudis are doin! Their tanker get’s pirated and suddenly a bunch of Islamists are attacking the pirates. Hmmmm? Kinda makes you wonder if these Islamist enemies of ours have been in the back pockets of the Royals all along.

The Ruskies have the right idea for a change. They want to sack the pirate towns. From what I see, it would be a walk in the park.

With the help of google maps we can get a good look at the Pirate town of Eyl.

Google map of Eyl Somalia

Here is an Arial shot of their fortress.
click to enlarge


This must be where the pirates are at. It’s the only place in the damn village that has any trees. And the rich folk in Somalia like to lounge around in the shade when they ain’t stealin booty off the coast. Plus, look how they built their houses in a defensive position. This little fortress needs a sackin!

If we ain’t got the stomach for that, then at least we can storm the beaches and break up their vessels. Lookey here! They’re just sittin there as plain as the eye can see!

click to enlarge









All this stuff can be found on google maps.
Lookey here. Here's my house!










Looking for some Pirate searching fun? Try this. That big old oil tanker that the Pirates captured is sitting off the coast near the Somali town of Harardhere. The satellite pictures are not that up to date.But if you look hard, you might be able to find this ship. It looks like pirates to me!!
Arrrr!!!

Why Bangladesh Why?!?!?!

It's the eve of November 4th and Obama just won. Just like I predicted in January 2007. A truly historic event. I thought about writing about it but everyone else is already doing it and it really is old news to me. I knew this would happen a long way back.

So I am going to yap about something completely Irrelevant.

Why do Bengalis (and Indians and Pakistanis) take their Beautiful women and on their most special day cake on the makeup and make them look like male drag queens? This is not a good look at all! Case in point, here is my wife's cousin.



pretty gorgeous is't she? She could be a model easy. I cropped out her husband because he ruins the picture. He's got an ugly mug like me and has really over achieved in snagging this one. He must have a great personality or something.

Anyway, back to the point. Look what she actually paid someone to do to her. She looks like a God Damn transvestite! What a freakin nightmare! And a healthy bronze tan is always better than the caked on ghost-like pasty white look. Her face is whiter than my ass! And looks as bout as cute might I add.



Please south asians. If there is anything you can learn from westerners, scrap everything else, but for God's sake pick up a copy of Bride magazine or Wedding Planner.

Thank god none of my relatives know about this blog. My wife would kill me.

Bob on the VP debate

I just have a few points to make on that debate last night and this is going to read like an annoying spam e-mail with all the pics (no animated cats at least). First of all Palin was a great success because she didn’t make a complete fool out of herself like we all expected.

But there are a few evil-doers out there who are having a good laugh today.

Remember when Palin said “We need to stop Iran from getting nuclear Energy, weapons?” I hope the energy part was a slip. I bet Ahmadinejad was jumping out of his seat when he heard that.

News alert Palin. We are saying we want to stop them from getting Nuclear weapons. They are saying we are trying to stop them from getting nuclear energy. Are you with us or against us?

At one point Biden came out as a confused hawk.

He said because we didn't send NATO into Lebanon after the war, Hezbollah has become a part of the Lebanese government. They already were Joe!

How much foreign experience do you supposedly have?! And good luck trying to get the other NATO members to join us in another quagmire.

He also wants to send troops to Darfur but he is against regime change. Sudanese President Omar Al-Bashir should get a laugh out of this

What the hell are we gonna do there? Just sit around in the desert and get suicide bombed until we get bored? Who do you think will win that waiting game?

Palin of course tries to sell the lame story that Obama voted to cut off funding to the troops. There were 2 bills to fund the troops. One with a timeline which McCain voted against and one without a timeline that Obama voted against. Both sides need to stop using our under funded troops for your political gain. Give them the damn money and argue later about a timeline. The troops are getting pissed on enough without your shit!

The most nauseating part was when the debate finished and Palin grabs a baby and starts burping it on stage. It's 11:00! What the hell is your baby doing up? I hate staged mommyhood

Do You have what it takes?

http://media.mi6.gov.uk/administrator/index.htm

Thanks A-hole!

Just what Obama needs. A spaced out European freak to come on American nationol television and tell the American people who to vote for.

I watched a bit of Russell Brand's performance on the MTV Music awards. I was not shocked at his crude in-your-face style. MTV has a history of giving platforms to attention getting spectacles. I was shocked at how hopelessly unfunny he was. Now I get "british" humour. I am a big fan of many british comedians, but this guy just sucked.

He looks and acts like he is on drugs and is a proud sex-o-holic. Part of his act was to poke fun at the self-proclaimed virgins, the Jonas Brothers.

OK fine, thats your persona. Fits in nicely with the artificial rebelious image of corporate MTV counter-culture. But when a guy like this endorses a candidate like Barack Obama it is no help at all.

John McCain could not have hired a better person to go out and get people to switch votes. Part of the McCain platform is that Barack's policies appeal to left leaning Europeans and that his values are not in tune with America. Russell's appearence supported that idea strongly.

The republicans want to portray an Obama vote as an irresponsible one. That his supporters are merely entranced by Obama's celebrity status. Nothing like having a glitzy sexually ambiguous drugged out European celebrity endorce Obama to set that idea in cement.

McCain should start a new advertising campaign.

Vote for McCain because this idiot doesn't want you to.

The Embassador's Son

What do you get when you cross a Kuwaiti Embassador's son with a bottle of cheap polish vodka and 10,000 parading jews? A whole lot of fun!

On Monday, police said a heavily intoxicated 23-year-old son of Ambassador Khaled Al-Shaibani pulled three 16-year-old Brazilians into their sixth-floor room of Warsaw's Holiday Inn after 9 a.m.
Witnesses alerted hotel guards, who rushed to the site, but called police when the Kuwaiti said he had explosives, police said.
Agents stormed the room just before 10 a.m. and took the suspect into custody without incident. None of the captives was harmed and no explosives were found.
Al-Shaibani was too intoxicated to undergo questioning Monday, police said, but the suspect spoke with authorities Tuesday morning.
The three teenagers were among about 10,000 people from around the world, most of them Jewish, who came to Poland to take part in the March of the Living.

The Kuwaiti Embassy confirmed the suspect was the ambassador's son, but declined further comment.

http://www.newsvine.com/_news/2008/05/06/1473052-kuwaiti-envoys-son-charged-in-poland

Don't be too hard on the lad Mr. Embassador. You emerced him into a country full of alcoholic anti-semites and he probably had a head start in Kuwait. Plus, 10,000 Jews all at once is a bit much for even the most tolerant and sober of us.

God help us all.

What the hell is wrong with this world?

I watched Nancy Grace last night. Yes I know she comes off as a mean bitch but that's mostly because her eyebrows are sculpted to point down towards the center. If she had some kind of procedure to raise them she'd look alot less threatening. But then she may be out of a job.

But I digress.

Back to the subject at hand. She was doing a piece on 911 operators falling asleep WHILE recieving emergency calls. This lady call 911 to say someone is breaking in her house and the operator starts snoring during the call! My god, how incompetant can you get??

The woman could easily have died while this bozo was snoozing off. What punishment did the guy get? He got dismissed. He should be imprisoned for wreckless endangerment.

Apparently this happens more often then we'd like to think. During the show she brought several similar cases to our attention.

The sad truth is that civil servants get paid very little and ministries are forced to scrape the bottom of the labour poolbarrel.

Here is a link to the video.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2072561504514618139&q=operator+snoring&ei=eVQfSKTJL6GQrgP0odm4AQ&hl=en

I wish this was the most disturbing news I was bringing you but it's not. Apparantly even the majestic King penguin is not imune from sexual assault. Here is proof that God screws up in his creations. It's not just man who is tormented by bizarre abnormalties of the brain. Can you believe a poor little penguin got raped by a big blubbery seal? It's too disgusting to think of but impossible not to look at. Even in a tuxedo the poor bird has been robbed of his dignity.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7379554.stm

I like head!

“You like head?”
There she was standing in before me. My Amma, all 5 feet of my sweet Bangladeshi mother-in-law. She’s been in the states now for 18 years and is coming along with learning English swimmingly, but there are certain slang words she will never and should never understand. On the other hand, her sniggering 22 year old son Jissan sitting at the dinner table across from me had become All-American. “Yes Bob” he says with a grin from ear to ear, “My mother wants to know if you like head.”
OK I was ready to play along.
Me: “Ummmm….well….Amma….that’s a bit of a personal question isn’t it?”
Amma: What? Head is good. I like head. You want head?
Me: No thanks Amma, I don’t want it.
Amma: Why not? You will like it. Your father-in-law likes. Jissan likes don’t you?
Jissan: Sure do Mom. I love head! (between giggles)
Amma: You have to suck it.
Then she puts her hand up to her mouth and makes a sucking sound. At which point Jissan: spits his drink out and birst out laughing.
The poor lady was talking about eating the heads of giant shrimp, which I later tried and found out I actually do like head.

The Best High School Reunion I Never Went To!

Last week 50 people from my old school got together at a bar/hotel for a little reunion. It was all my old friends and enemies from grade 8. I would definately have made the trip up to Canada for it but the thing was arranged just recently and I had already booked my vacation to Florida with the family.

Still, it was a great reunion for me.

Firstly, I was a cute but short little runt back then of average to below average popularity. There was this one average looking girl Janice who had a crush on me and we kinda became boyfriend and girlfriend. I say kinda because we never really did anything other than state that we were an item. I hadn't even reached puberty yet.

Anyway everyone shows up at the reunion and most the guys are fat and bald and the girls are fat and sagging, but not Janice. She's like POW! Smokin hot! and all the guys are trying to chat her up, but she keeps asking for me. In fact she has a few drinks and continues to ask for me all night long like I'm gonna magically appear. Did I mention she's divorced? Good thing I wasn't there. So by not showing up I now have the guilt free satisfaction of knowing that all my fellow classmates know that the prettiest girl in class digs me. But that is not the best part.

The best part is what happened to big Bully Ken. Big Bully Ken was a real prick when I knew him and was twice my size and used to beat the crap out of people for fun including me.

What happened to him?

No he didn't die, I'm not that vindictive and it's even better.

get this. He had a sex change!



This guy was a friggin Gorilla. There is no way he could become a convincing woman. Perhaps this may explain his inner hostility. I still can't get over the shock. The embarrassing part is that I now have to admit I was beaten up by a girl.

Life is stranger than fiction

Find Osama Bin Laden!

Here is a pic of the Bin Laden family on holiday in Sweden. Don't they look happy and westernized? See if you can guess which guy is Osama. I numbered them for you. Post your guesses.

click on the image to enlarge it.

After you guess you can see the answer here:

No cheating!

this is him

I am a diplomat

I never really mentioned this before but I am an international diplomat. Well at least I felt like one. My Uncle-in-law in Bangladesh is a Bigwig and he got me a seat at the 2004 International chamber of commerce event in Dhaka where I got to sit and listen to foreign dignitaries and Prime Minister of Bangladesh, Khaleda Zia. It was mostly interesting. The neet thing about it was that all the white people except me were sitting in the front section and the TV press was behind them and couldn't get any decent shots of foreign faces. Just the backs of their heads. I has sitting in the middle section and all the press could get a good shot at me and they all did. So I tried my best to look distinguished as the video cameras took their turns on me. When we got back to my Aunts house everyone was excited that I was on National TV. I did the only thing I could think of to prove I was there.

It was a long day. The poor Prime Minister was nodding off during Thaksin Shinawatra's (Thailand PM) speech.

Too bad both prime ministers are now facing corruption charges.

Maybe I should give them a ring to cheer them up.

Is it me?

Or does Cindy McCain look like the mother from The Replacements?

Damn Disney Corp!

This is an update to my Halloween post. I lost the battle of the princesses. The kids had a lot of fun playing at home with my homemade costume, but refused to be seen outside in it. My wife backed them up (She comes from an impoverished country and has internal issues about appearing too "ghetto" and she wants the girls to have everything she didn't) So I conceded to take them out as Disney princesses just like all the other thousands of princesses there were out there.



Maybe I lost this battle but the Disney war continues.
At least half of the shows on disney channel are not appropriate for children. I have a particular problem with the Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

The two stars of the shows are these obnoxious 11 year old twins who are fixated with being babe hounds. What's wrong with the writers? They can't come up with different plots for kids? Does every male character have to be a player? It makes me wanna puke when I see a little boy say "Check out that foxy mama, hubba hubba!" Those little twirps are bannished from my sight!

Vote for Obama!

There are plenty of reasons to vote for Obama

1. Did you see him get out of that crazy babbling minister controversey? I thought he was toast a few days ago, but the guy flips the whole thing around to make it seem that the country can only get past racial divisions by voting for him. And you know? He's kinda right. But more importantly we need a guy who can get himself out of of a sticky situation, because the country is in one itself.


2. The guys middle name is Hussein. We can get him a name tag that has an insert section in the middle like a dining room table. When he's at home he's Barack Obama, when he goes to the middle east he's Barack Hussein Obama.


3. Sure he's got hardly any experience, but he's smart and he looks good and sounds great.


4. He says he's going to pull the troops out but is going to consult the generals first, who will tell him not to pull the troops out. So he will pull them out, he'll just take 4 years to do it.


5. He never cheated on his wife (and she ain't much to look at). I mean look at the New York governor who got kicked out for the prostitutes. He gets replaced by a blind guy who cheated on his wife numerous times. Even the blind politians are cheating. How does a blind guy cheat?
6. National Health Care. Let's give it a try. Everyone else does it. It can't be all that bad. I lived in Canada and it wasn't that bad. Sure when I had an operation when I was a kid I had to stay in a ward with 5 other sick kids. The worst part was that 5 of us couldn't move and the one kid who could move was this pudgy spoiled kid who was in there for constipation and he wouldn't let anyone else have the rmote control and he made us watch game shows. In the end I think he speeded up my recovery because he motivated me to walk so I could smack him in the head.

Afghan Boy Toys

I just read a revolting article on Reuters on how Afghan warlords are honoring the age old tradition of keeping young dancing boys as their mistresses.

http://www.reuters.com/article/wtMostRead/idUSISL1848920071119

I just had to voice how appalling and non-Islamic this is. This flies directly in the face of clearly written Islamic law. Don’t these people know dancing is forbidden in Islam!?

A bad investment

I gotta tell you. The next time some guy tries to sell me on a joint business venture in Islamic Africa, I'm gonna do a little cultural research first!

"Build a prophet Workshop! The first in Kartoum!" he said. "Everyone will love it!"

Thanks for nothing Alif!!!!

Saving Fruit loops from themselves.

Most civilized civilizations have adopted a social responsibility to protect crazy people from themselves. These same civilizations also mostly have some sort of respect for freedom of religion. But what happens when these two priorities come into conflict?
What if some crazy person adopts an equally crazy religious belief that leads them to an early preventable death?

Case in point:
England
A 22 year old Jehovah Witness woman gave birth to twins and then started bleeding to death in the hospital. She refuses a blood transfusion based on her religious beliefs and now she is dead. The kids now have to be raised motherless. I’m not going to bother digging up the research, but it is pretty obvious that kids raised without mothers usually do worse off. It will be England who has to deal with the repercussions of this religious nut’s irresponsible actions and abandonment of her parental responsibilities. If she were in my hospital, she would have been forced to have the transfusion and I would have thrown in a free sterilization with it.
Screw her freedom of religion. We don’t let Rastafarians smoke pot because it is illegal. Well so is suicide.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article2809423.ece

Second case in point:
India
Some how, this 18 year old Indian girl got it into her head that she was a snake goddess. Maybe she had axema? That makes your skin scaly. Anyway, as a parent I like to cultivate the sense in my girls that they can become anything they want to be. But I draw the line at snake goddess. Obviously this girl had some kind of mental problem. (Unless she really is a snake goddess?) Unfortunately her family and community were a bunch of enablers and they went along with the whole snake goddess idea. OK fine, nothing illegal there. That is their religion; let them have fun with it. But when this flake decides she wants to be buried alive, do you think anyone slapped any sense into her? Of course not! They all went along with it. Hundreds of people including reporters (Don’t you have to go to college to be a reporter?) witnessed her live burial. Thankfully some non-disbeliever policemen showed up a couple hours later and dug her out. She was alive and hysterical. Now my first instinct is to say, that the cops should not have interfered in the process of natural selection, but this woman was crazy and everyone just stood around and watched or helped her commit suicide! I’d take the whole crowd and throw them in a labour camp for 5 years and of course sterilize them all.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22707141-663,00.html

Islamo-Fascism Awareness week! revisited.

Now that Islamo-Fascism Awareness week is behind us, I’d like to take time to reflect on this precedence setting moment of enlightenment. Even though we are now in the 6th year of military confrontation with the forces of militant Islam (and others), perhaps some things needed to be clarified. Perhaps the general public missed the media coverage on Al Qaeda, Hezbollah, the Taliban and Hamas over the past decade. Maybe they were unaware that there are really bad guys who are out to get us. Is it too much to ask that we take one week out of the year to think about the threats we face all year round?

Some may ask, What is the purpose of making such a highly publicized event when it only focuses on something we are already aware of? Why not just sponsor a hurricane awareness week in New Orleans?

Mr. Horowitz states: “Islamo-Fascism Awareness Week is an effort to educate the general public about the enemy we face and, in the process, to give moderate Muslims support in their struggle.”

Can anyone claim their Awareness of the enemy is complete without having sat through an Anne Coulter lecture? Surely she has saved her most thought provoking opinions for these speakings; the stuff you can’t get on FOX news everyday of the year. Or perhaps people would miss out on exposure to the numerous in-depth writings that the architects of this event have to offer, like:

The End of Time by David Horowitz $12.00

Unholy Alliance by David Horowitz $18.00

Left Illusions by David Horowitz $21.00

The Politics of Bad Faith by David Horowitz $14.00

Uncivil Wars by David Horowitz $12.00
etc.....etc...

Sadly, the vast majority of those moderate Muslims found the term “Islamo-fascist” to be offensive.

Thankfully, Mr. Horowitz was able to clarify their misunderstandings. You see, the term “Islamo-Fascism” was initially coined by Algerians. Algerians are Muslims. Can Muslims be offended by terms originated by other Muslims? Of course not! Therefore the moderate Muslims of the world are mistaken to think that the words are offensive. Just because words offend does not mean they are offensive.

Furthermore Mr. Horowitz states: “No one who wants to see moderate Muslims succeed in their efforts to resist the oppressive doctrines of the Islamo-fascists should oppose the use of this term”

You hear that? You are either with us or against us! If you don’t like the term Islamo-Fascist, then maybe that’s because you are one!

Mr. Horowitz and friends are simply exercising there freedom of speech. Islamo-Fascism refers to Muslims who are fascists. All other Muslims are exempt from offence.

Of course others may differ as to what threats we face deserve a week of awareness. For example some may prefer a more introspective approach and focus on the threats to peace that emerge from within. For those people perhaps we can have a week like this?

Obviously Christians who are not warmongering idiots will not take offence to these words. If for some reason they do, then we can only then assume that they are indeed warmongering idiots themselves and thus consider the offense well placed.

Still others may want to focus on more specific subtle threats. Like the threat of people who profit on creating hysteria and fostering stereotypes that promotes intolerance. For those people we can have this week.

Rest assured no non-hate-spreading media whores of the Jewish faith should be offended. Thank you

BOB

I reject corporate greed (Particularly Disney Corporation) and their exploitation of our most cherished traditional celebrations!

It’s bad enough that my kids are brainwashed by the Disney channel everyday and are hypnotized by the likes of Hanna Montana, Highschool Musical, Corey in the House, etc…etc…

It’s bad enough that I spend thousands of dollars on Disney vacations. Disney Movies, Disney lunch boxes, Disney clothes, Disney snacks, Disney friggin everything!

Well, today I am drawing the line!

This Halloween my little 3 year old princess is NOT going to parade around town in a 30 dollar Disney princess outfit! Disney has bled this stone dry!

This year we are going to have a Halloween reminiscent of the Halloweens that I had growing up. The kind where your parent is too cheap to buy you a costume and you have to make something up from household items.

In the spirit of non-commercialism, I have decided to teach my children a valuable lesson. Halloween is an opportunity to celebrate our creative side. There is a great deal of satisfaction in creating a costume from scratch. It is self expression over corporate expression. It also is an opportunity to recycle discarded household items that would otherwise pollute the environment.

This year my daughter is going out as a homemade Spongebob!

A public service announcement for an Iranian single

I just stumbled across this cheezy add for an Iranian personel service.

I just gotta say this to Rosa:

Rosa, if you can't find one decent picture of yourself without some guy's arm wrapped around your waste then that tells me volumes about you.

You are either:

A) Have never been without a boyfreind longer than it takes to figure out how a digital camera works, in which case you are a needy clinging insecure psychopath.

B) You are either too stupid or lazy to get someone to take a more appropriate picture for

or C) .You are slut.

If the answer is A or B, I want nothing to do with you!

Old Shahadeh Abu, He lived in a shoe....

Check this guy out! Shadadeh Abu Arrar is a Bedouin living in Israel. He's got 8 wives and 67 kids. Apparently these 75 people are still not enough to occupy his time. He is planning on getting a 9th wife! How does he support them? Israeli welfare. Of course that money is only for the 53 kids of his Israeli wives. The 14 kids in the west bank born to Palestinian wives have to find other ways to survive.

Can you imagine actually looking after all those kids? I hope they have costo in Israel, They could go through one of those giant tubs of margarine in one sitting.

http://www.comcast.net/news/strange/index.jsp?cat=STRANGE&fn=/2007/10/16/790018.html

My daughter is white.

For those who don't know, I am married to a American woman from Bangladesh. Today my wife had to fill out some registration papers for our three year old daughter. When it came to the part where we declare her race we were left with the options, White, Black, Hispanic/Latino, Asian or native American. No place to write other. They tell her it will stay on her record throughout her school years. So the wife calls me up. "Is she white or Asian?"

me: she's asian

her: But she was born here and she looks white.

me: OK, she's white.

her: No she's not

me: Listen, I don't really care. You decide.

her: How do I do that?

me: flip a coin. If it's heads she's white. If it's tails she's asian.

3 heads later...she's white.

I just hope this doesn't have an adverse affect on her math scores.

Ramadan Mubarak

Well it's time for another Ramadan which means I have to drag myself away from the computer tonight and socialize with all the wife's relatives. They'll be all kinds of great food and the kids really like getting dressed up in their Bangladeshi clothes.

I'd rather stay at home and watch TV.

I'm done

I thought about this a lot but now I've finally gone and done it. I'm sure some of you will be quite releaved the BOB will no longer be reproducing.
I went and got my vasectomy done. They say Bravery Is Not The Absence of Fear, But Acting Inspite of It.

I gotta tell you that I was more than a little nervous about getting snipped. Now that it is all over I can say that the operation was not so bad.

The recovery however is a whole different story. For the first week I felt like my nuts were in a clamp. All I could do was lay on the couch and ice myself.

All I can say is this better be worth it.

I have sinned !

After some deep reflection I have come to the conclusion that the mods had reason to banish me.

I was brainwashing Muslims to think murder was good.

Sure some of you may say "Bob, Ahmed is a 27 year old Pakistani who lived in Islamabad. He made up his own mind about the events at the Red Mosque."But is that really the case? As reported by posters on IOL, 1500 Innocent women were murdered in cold blood in that mosque! Muslims are supposed to be against murder. Ahmed may have realized that, except I had to start posting evil things like "they shouldn't have had weapons in the mosque in the first place" and "Law and order must prevail". What chance did Ahmed's mind have other than to fall into my trap? To make things worse I even praised him when he followed my evil lure.

Is there any greater sin than leading a believer down the path to hell?

Also I fear that the poster NYIslamic who refutes that 911 was an inside job is very likely another victim of my brainwashing techniques. How else can you explain a Muslim denying the clear evidence that America attacked itself that day. I mean it's called What really happened .com not What didn't really happen so it must be. I am sorry if I led you astray NY.

Fortunately a very shrewd Muslimah poster caught on to my sinister plot and alerted the moderators.

I brazenly admitted to her that I was a Zionist who was brainwashing Muslims to be my zombie army and that I would one day take over the world. I even invited her to "come over to the dark side".

Well the moderators saw the seriousness of this threat and decided to protect the Ummah from evil-doers such as myself.

They even banished GPA I think because he spoke out too much against terrorism and Islamic extremism. I guess this proved that he hates all Muslims.

I am glad to see that GPA has joined me in repenting for our evil ways. I now see that murder and robbery are indeed wrong.

thank you

BOB

Banned from IOL

Yes they finally couldn't take it any more and the dirty rats banned me!

All because some paranoid schizophrenic Muslimah whined that I was brainwashing people!

Maybe I was brainwashing people, but that's because those brains were filthy and full of cobwebs.

They needed a good rinsing.

Anyway I've reconsidered my goals and have changed them from global domination to simply getting my deck refurbished this summer.

If anyone needs to contact me, I'll be checking my blog.

Thanks

BOB

Cartoon from Iranian.com
Some good stuff on there. Some Iranians are very cool.

My rendition of Sahara2's ex, who looks a bit like dead Chechen mujahed, Shamil Basayev.

Bob's Peace Plan

In this Plan nobody in the region gets away scott free. Everyone has to contribute something and be vested in a positive outcome.

How can you have a functioning country that is physically divided into two parts? (Hawaii doesn't count)

My plan involves Syria, Egypt, Jordon and Lebanon all giving up small portions of land. Heck, they already have the Palestinians to go with it.

Both new countries need access to Jerusalem and the Mediterranean. The only way to do this is to have one in the north and one in the south.

This involves the entire Gaza strip falling into Israel and large parts of northern Israel falling into Palestinian hands. This is why it is important that no person should be forced to move. Give 1.5 million Gazans the opportunity to become Israelis and a lot will take it. The Israelis will treat them better because they can now vote. Give the Palestinians authority over northern Israel and some Jews might stay. The Palestinians could certainly use the tax dollars. The point is that anyone can move if they want and anyone can stay.

Israel of course would have to stop it's open to all Jews immigration policy. That is unsustainable. The settlers in the west bank can stay but if they do they must live under Palestinian rule.

Why my Avatar is not Noddy

I put a lot of thought into choosing my avatar and want to make it quite clear to everyone that the image is NOT that of Noddy. Noddy is a gay elf. I am not a gay elf. My Avatar is a construction worker. A man who builds things, like the brave men and women trying to reconstruct Iraq. In a world filled with too many people intent on destroying, I think we can use a few more bob the builders in real life.

Bob and a portion of the extended family

Is this the same guy?

Is this Hamas leader and former Palestinian Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh ?

Because if it is, I have a new found respect for the guy.

Good to know that if politics and terrorism doesn't work out, he has a sideshow career to fall back on.

Edmonton Oiler fans in Kandahar

Guess which one is me?

Bob riding Rickshaw