Senior US Defense commander General Stewart McDouglas gave a press briefing at the pentagon today where he stated that the United States would proceed to scale back its engagement in Libya and hand over operations to NATO command. “It is evident that the present conflict in Libya is an internal dispute among the Libyan people. It is not in the interest or obligation of the United States, to over extend itself in this matter. While we support all people of the world’s desire to live in peace and freedom, it is ultimately something that each must secure for themselves. The United states is NOT in the business of regime change.” Said McDouglas.
Joining him at the press briefing to accept the transfer of authority was senior commander of NATO operations, General Stewart McDouglas. The NATO commander explained “The North Atlantic Treaty Organization has accepted the honor of defending the people of Libya. We could not with good conscience just sit back and let this international criminal commit a holocaust against the peace loving citizens of Benghazi. That is why we have decided to implement a no fly zone over all of Libya. Our French allies have already begun enforcing the no-fly zone by attacking a column of advancing Libyan supply trucks. When asked how a supply truck could violate a no-fly zone the General directed the press to resent surveillance footage taken of the offending forces. 
When asked whether the NATO goal was that of regime change the commander responded as follows. “Let me make this clear. We are not in the business of regime change. We are simply going to bomb the hell out of Kaddafi and his supporters until he leaves. Also we are going to defend the civilians of Libya as they advance on Tripoli but our policy is not regime change.
Fielding questions about the international components of the coalition the commander stated. “Sure, we got Arabs on our side. For one thing the Lebanese submitted this resolution. They hate Kaddafi because he made Hezbollah’s spiritual leader Moussa al-Sadr disappear 30 years ago. So yes in a way we are fighting for Hezbollah but the point is they are Arabs. Also the Arab league have asked us to intervene, which I admit is mostly full of dictators who are currently suppressing their own revolutions but we appreciate their efforts to direct our attention towards Kaddafi. The tiny kingdom of Qatar is actually sending planes to help out. This is a greatly appreciated sacrifice from them when you consider that many of their defense forces along with Saudi Arabia are currently bogged down helping shoot down the protesters in Bahrain.
Later the commander responded to queries as to whether they would be arming the Libyan opposition. The Commander declared “No, we do not see the need to be doing so at this time. However we may need to begin supplying them with additional ammunition as it seems that their key strategy is to gather in large groups on deserted highways, where they dance and shoot in the air until they run out of bullets. We are also looking into developing a fast-track weapons training program for the opposition. Unfortunately, it seems most eastern Libyans with any weapons training are currently engaged in an al-Qaida led guerrilla war against coalition forces and the freely elected government of Iraq.
But what about providing Gaddafi with an exit strategy in case the opposition is successful? The question is who would shelter a remorseless killer . The coalition is currently searching for possible options. Maybe Uganda? Maybe Venesuala? Or perhaps he could join the crew at Orlando’s Seaworld?

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